A relationship requires a lot of love and commitment.
Disclaimer: This blog entry is based on my experience in life. I don’t expect people to agree with me 100%. Just like you, I’m entitle to my own opinion and I respect yours.
When talking to friends who are in the dating stages of their relationships, I often get asked for advice on how I would handle things or how Adam and I make our relationship work so well. I find myself sharing the same advice over and over again. Relationships are not easy and even when you are with the right person you still struggle. I have notice that sometimes the people that talk to me do not take their partners views into consideration. I found that when Adam and I first begin dating, we did struggle to see eye to eye in a lot of stuff, but it wasn’t until we got a little older and matured that we realized that OUR relationship consisted in what WE both needed, not just what he or I wanted. When you want your relationship to work, you need to be open minded, patient, communicate with your partner and most importantly be honest with each other.
During the dating stages you want the other person to like you and well you are always going to put your best foot forward. You may not let your partner know of things that they do that bother you or upset you because you want to keep it cool. That is a problem! If you want the relationship to work and you expect to be with this person for the long run, letting them know how you feel is important. I believe in being honest even if the truth hurts sometimes. (This is my opinion and you don’t have to agree with it) Working to get to this point should not be very hard if you both are willing to accept and respect each other’s feelings. It’s not always easy if someone is not willing to work at being honest, but if you both want the relationship to work start by having an honest conversation.
Being patient is very important in all relationships. More and more I see people dating for a few months and rushing into this whole “I LOVE YOU, you are the only one for me and let’s get married tomorrow” type of situations, which may be successful for some but in reality you are skipping the beautiful part of growth in your relationship. Taking your relationship one step at a time is what makes those relationships stronger. Dating is a beautiful thing, when you are getting to know the likes and dislikes of a person, it brings you closer. The times you share while getting to know each other are memories that will last you a lifetime. I couldn’t imagine looking back and just saying “Oh, Adam and I met, dated a couple of months and we got married” That would be well, nice I guess. But where is your history as a couple? Where are those moments that when you are married you look back and laugh together? I have hundreds of stories of when Adam and I dated. The silly things we did, the jokes we played on each other, the fights, the trips we took, all in all those moments are what makes our relationship so strong today.
We have grown and work together to be a team in our relationship without losing our individuality. Just like we have things in common, we have a lot of differences, and when you embrace the differences in your relationship and can partake in honest conversations with each other is when you can truly work together to be a stronger couple.
So with that said here is some advice I have personally believe in:
- Never go to bed angry
- If something is bothering you talk about it
- Listen when your partner is talking to you
- Encourage their dreams and their hobbies
- Appreciate their flaws
- Let go of the past and focus on the present.
- Make plans together
- Don’t hold grudges
- Be affectionate
- Take time to do something that your significant other enjoys
- Find a hobby you both can share
- Never compare your relationship with others
- Tell them/Show them you love them daily